Again nightmares come
Dream on knowing it won’t end
When I am awake
I dreamed of you again, yet this time it was not you.
I walked through the ground floor of Queen Margaret’s hospital, a place I havent been for years, talking on the phone.
The line went dead.
Frustrating though it was, it was not a conversation I was engaged with.
I looked out of the ground floor window at the grass.
Why I was there I do not know.
My phone rings
I look down
Is that you
Yes its me
(I get her name wrong as always)
Or her voice
My heart beating like a drum wrenches me from sleep and I am faced with the realisation that this is not true, that call never came, but you vanished just as completely.
Fresh coffee brewed, sits cooling by my feet
(But unlike you I still won’t take it sweet)
As slow sad Country fills the morning air;
Unwritten songs of loves I wished to share.
Fresh tears now flow as music in me seeps,
Can’t shake these troubled memories of sleep;
For though its been so long since last we spoke
Still dreaming of your voice my waking chokes.
Dream-drowning in dark waters, wide and deep,
You pulled me out and set me on my feet:
Fresh silken pleats you’d woven in your hair
Entwined my heart, a noose I cannot tear.
Reality will not resume this week
For nothing here can give me what I seek.
A different life,
Arms out wide
In reckless abandon
As the water flows
Fills the fountain
One against the other
Into the water
Take my hand
Across the years
A child called Sarah,
Whom I did not know could speak,
Who grew as I held her.
Carried carefully across rooftops
And became a kitten.
Rennovation with hammer
Tearing up barbed wire
And iron sheet.
Building a sandpit
And a swimming pool,
From a vacant lot
For the summer.
While the adults
Picked their way
Between the shells
Which had been houses,
Followed by cartoons.