Alone

My brain gives birth
To realisation

I am alone

It is painful
Yet
Strangely beautiful

Alone

I play with the thought
Turning it over
Feeling its edges
Forgiving softness
With hard reality

I am alone

The truth grows
Not black and white
Reality in shades of grey.

Alone

Far from meaning
I do not love you
But I accept
Your choice

So
Alone
I
Am

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Addict

Injecting words into my veins
So I can feel alive again
Give me all your rippling pain
Your loss
Your bitterness
Your shame
Give me grief
I’ll show the same

Let me feel the dark you hide
When it creeps
From deep inside
Let me see your cracks
Your tears
Show me all the scars you bear
Share the blackened
Burned remains
Of the heart
You hold to blame

Give me
What you cannot stand
Feel me
Reaching for your hand

Wallowing 

A minute of your time please, if I may?
Soon March will turn to April, turn to May,
And then it will be far too late to say
That what I want is You, right here, today.
But you are gone, I know not where you are,
I seek you in the night amongst the stars,
So long it’s been since you were in my arms;
The space you left, an ever present harm.
I see you in my dreams, such tortured sleep!
Those bitter hours when I no longer weep,
But fall into a senseless state so deep,
That morning comes and goes without a peep.
 To wallow in the pity of my grief
 Is easier than finding self belief.

This is somewhat of a throwaway Sonnet which fell out as I was taking notes for something else. The rhyme scheme too simple but yet a reminder of repetitive days and nights, not changing for the better. 

This is the me that I try and fight every day. The one that greives for every relationship which has ended; who struggles to accept loss, who wants to write or message, to just take a moment of their time to say how much they are missed. -A-