Sometimes the dark becomes too deep
I seek the light you held in sleep
Down by the shore where willows weep
While waves lapped gently at your feet

Sometimes the dark becomes too deep
I miss the times our eyes would meet
The holding hands in busy streets
Stopping so our lips could speak

Sometimes the dark becomes too deep
In memories I cannot sleep
Tormented by the past I keep
And in the emptiness I weep.



So they said that it was over
And you knew it to be true
Couldn’t rest upon their shoulder
When the weakness ran you through
So you turned away from loving
Like it reeked of cheap purfume
But until you let yourself believe
The demons stay to roost

When tomorrow comes
You’ll run yourself alive
Feel the air within your lungs
Let pain become your guide

You can cry yourself to sleeping
In an old familiar bed
While the ghosts you keep disturbing
Fly around your weary head
You can scream into the pillows
While the darkness eats your dreams
But until you see the truth you hide
You’ll never be at peace

When tomorrow comes
To run yourself alive
Feel the pain within your lungs
Let pain become your guide

Now you polish up up your pretence
And you mask the pain with pride
So none can see the punishment
That you give yourself inside
Friends who see behind the curtains
Know the journey they you’re on
Don’t push their help to far away
The road won’t seem so long.

Take a chance to see outside
Lift your head from out the vice
Burn the pictures, Roll the dice
Know that yes, it once was nice
But rivers flow, Under the ice
Face the chance of life
Bag and bin the pain you’re in
Fight the dark inside.

When tomorrow comes
It sees you come alive
Turn your face towards the sun
Feel the warmth, the cold, the fun,
Find the smiles you hid so long
Sing the songs you wish you’d sung
Just move your legs
And run.

To trust a man I’ve never met

I trust a man I’ve never met
To put a razor to my neck.
There with his blade to take great care
As trimming every little hair
He tries to make me someone new;
A lot like one who once you knew.

‘Fore I abandoned self respect
I’d daily trim and keep in check
But since that fall my will is gone,
The hair upon my face grows long.
Untidy and unkempt they say;
What reason do I have to change?

The years they pass and slip away,
I live in memories and pain,
Self loathing grows like mental rust,
I have to learn again to trust,
Yet cannot bring myself to do
The same, with anyone since you.

I sit here staring at a face
Which once in photographs I traced:
The ones in which our lips would meet
As there we stood upon the street.
Back then I was a different man
Now he is gone and so his plans.

This clinging to what was won’t aid
Nor should I dwell in doleful shade
For only in this moment now
Is found the why, the where, the how,
The reason that I let him hold
A blade which shall remove the old.

Dream therapy

I dreamed of you again, yet this time it was not you.

I walked through the ground floor of Queen Margaret’s hospital, a place I havent been for years, talking on the phone.
The line went dead.
Frustrating though it was, it was not a conversation I was engaged with.
I looked out of the ground floor window at the grass.
Why I was there I do not know.

My phone rings
I look down
Your name
Staring back
Hands shake
I answer
No sound
Then crackles
Your mother
My heart
Is that you
Yes its me
(I get her name wrong as always)
The line
Or her voice

My heart beating like a drum wrenches me from sleep and I am faced with the realisation that this is not true, that call never came, but you vanished just as completely.