Lingering remains

Tel
Out my soul
Like cancer
From such fragile bones
Self excised
Yet lingering
To painfully
Remain
The heart
It beats the same
Not so easily deleted
As a number
Repeating like refrain
A four letter retelling
Of a name
I am more than just the pain
But memories
Of life before you came
(Or didn’t)
Deserving more
Than self disdain
Or so I’m bidden
But can’t shake hurt
Which surface-wise is hidden
Yet will not go away
Like a name
Deleted
Once again

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Let me burn

Light the match
Watch it burn
As elsewhere all
The world still turns

Pile up
All the memories
And cast a flame
In gentle breeze

If magic were
Within my grasp
Would I this mind
Erase at last
Or keep it all
Enshrined for aye
Remembering
Our summer days

The flame it flickers
Catches light
Shining out
This darkened night
Plunging headlong
In the fire
Scrabbling
To save desire
Wrench from ashes
What remains
Amidst the kiss
Of gentle flames
Once more to feel
That tender touch
Warmth I’ve missed
Can’t help but clutch
As burning fingers
Catch alight
To match a heart
Which burned too bright
Here let me be
In all consumed
My body burns
As soul was too.

Thought wrong

Thought I’d know just what to say
To stop your need to run away.
Thought I’d know just what to do
To keep on holding, loving you.
Thought I’d know just what to think
Before life took me to the brink.

Thought I had a handle
But I haven’t reached the mantle
And far from understanding more
I’ve grown a rotten selfish core
That’s drowning in the fires it lit
Before reality in fullness hit.

Thought I’d know just what to say
To heal the hurt and stop the pain.
Thought I’d know just what to do
To keep from coming back to you.
Thought I’d know just what to think
But never knew how low I’d sink.

Alone

My brain gives birth
To realisation

I am alone

It is painful
Yet
Strangely beautiful

Alone

I play with the thought
Turning it over
Feeling its edges
Forgiving softness
With hard reality

I am alone

The truth grows
Not black and white
Reality in shades of grey.

Alone

Far from meaning
I do not love you
But I accept
Your choice

So
Alone
I
Am