I keep emergency coffee.
Reminder:
Keep a little behind
Save pay
For come what may
You know
That dreaded rainy day
When it pours
Indoors
Or we swap boardrooms
For sweeping floors.
But
I didn’t think
To pay attention
Failed to store
Those things
It hurts to mention
I should have saved
Emergency hugs
Banked kisses
Stored sweet sensation
Held on to holding you
That catalogue of your affection
A well to be dipped into
At will
Then
I might be able to sleep
Soundly
Wallowing
Like treacle
Sticks
To my legs
Pulls me under
This sickly stench
Of iron blood
Makes me retch
Stop the voice
In my fingers
Silence me
Fill my lungs
Before I call out
Silent screams
Of daydream nightmares
Always
Remains unanswered
Can you hear
No
Just my mind
Playing tricks
Again
You were never there.
What would it be like
Not to miss you
Memories
Permeate
Solid state mind
That time heals
Is only true
Because we die
Glad I’m not
A vampire
Eternity
Without you
Would see me
Reaching
For a spike
Such a debt owed
Is never repaid
To know love
And the pain of its ending
I plunge
Into frigid waters
Hoping to be numb
Dare not speak
Ducks in judgement
Think me dumb
But every time
The silence breaks
I am overcome.
“Are you well?” he says.
“Yes”, I reply.
But nothing could be further from the truth.
The days
Where walls
Between universes,
Paper thin,
Dissolve.
So Hard.
There,
A different life,
Holding hands
In sun
On sand.
Here,
I blow
A kiss
Across
The Universe
And time.
Once again, within a dream,
Upon a street you’ve never seen
I saw your face and heard your voice
I took your hand (I had no choice).
There, into weary eyes I looked,
And read your story like a book,
Though sections still remain unclear,
Yet all I want; to hold you near.
I saw you there this morning,
In someone else’s face.
My heart it had no warning
Why expect you in this place?
Inside I was crying,
For I miss your soft embrace.
—
I read a post earlier which reminded me of an experience I had yesterday. I had written about it but hadn’t posted it because it was incomplete. On reading this post though, I felt I had to find the missing words and share what I had written. There are so many people out there who are missing someone, for whatever reason, and it felt right to put my hand up and quietly say. ‘Me too.’
The post can be found here: I Miss Him – http://wp.me/p40lhC-3eM
Learning to love the silence 