We write the words
We cannot speak
Smearing sentences
Across blank screens.
What would we say
If we weren’t afraid?
Instead, we paint pictures
From minds blurred,
Mumbling through masks.
(Found dated 4th January 2017, and don’t believe it was published.)
With each word
Carefully creep back in
So subtle your fingers
Claw into crevices
Before long I am lost in sunlight
In the park where we walked
Wishing for that summer once more
Knowing it can never be again
Slowly shedding
By syllables
Prying you out
With each word
The circle-cycle sings its song
Where now the strength to carry on?
To do the things your love revealed
Before the truth became too real
And stories told unravelled fast
Leaving clouded shades of past.
I take my place upon the stage
No longer searching for your gaze,
There find the strength to carry on;
The circle-cycle song is sung.
Resigningly retreats
With stocking feet
While kisses
From her lips bestows
She shuts the door
And quietly goes
I stare at the passing bus
Wondering how much
The wheels would hurt
As they roll over me
But it would be extreme
To watch my body bend
And break
Just for the sake
Of getting out of work
When the only reason
I don’t want to go
Is there is so much life
I want to live
(I think I may need a new job folks.)
You push my never wandring eye
Up to the keyhole of your life
I cannot help a wistful cry
Know I no longer fit inside
Here one more time such worlds espy
Allowing reminisent mind
To taste again that sweet delight
Cross vast horizons’ azure skies
The echoes of your radiant smiles
Beheld in flicker-flames so bright
Your sweetest kiss on lips alight
Soft sinking into velvet night
My heart remains in dreams alive
I blow a kiss toward your light
Collected things
To share
Heaped
Like memories
On sideboards
Awaiting eyes
Alighting
Would fallen leaf
Its twirling stem
Twixt slender fingers
Hide smiles
Seen in eyes
A masquerade
Disguse
Dust whispers
Collecting on cobwebs
To burn
And dance in flames
Yet even there
In fires glow
Of memory
Your smiling kiss
Bestowed
The burning leaf
Would show
I dreamed of you again, yet this time it was not you.
I walked through the ground floor of Queen Margaret’s hospital, a place I havent been for years, talking on the phone.
The line went dead.
Frustrating though it was, it was not a conversation I was engaged with.
I looked out of the ground floor window at the grass.
Why I was there I do not know.
My phone rings
I look down
Your name
Staring back
Hands shake
I answer
Hello?
No sound
Then crackles
Your mother
My heart
Breaks
Is that you
Yes its me
(I get her name wrong as always)
She
I
The line
Or her voice
Cracks
She
I
My heart beating like a drum wrenches me from sleep and I am faced with the realisation that this is not true, that call never came, but you vanished just as completely.
Sudden
Heart crack
Sadness
It flows
Unsure
Not blessed
With truth
To know
Did you
Beneath
The boughs
Now go
His hand
Instead
You choose
To hold
Or fall
In leaves
No more
To breathe
Your words
With love
On earth
Below
I touch
Hearts held
Still near
My own
No fear
They hold
Yet stength
Is flown
Gulp air
To breathe
But none
Will swell
I drown
In waves
On street
Alone
So young we were when first we kissed
That momentary passing bliss
Which caught our hearts not unawares
But left them beating rapturous snares
Entwined by youthful folly we
So blinded that we could not see
There underneath the vows we spoke
Our kisses had brought forth a yoke
Which fractured as you sought to flee
And left us burdened far from free
For all we shared entwined our souls
No longer are we feeling whole
Thus now it is we seek to learn
Those lessons which in youth we spurned
How to live alone at last
Making peace with all that’s past.
Learning to love the silence 